Two weeks into lockdown, three weeks into working from home. This is how I feel:
Things I’m grateful for:
- The little robin who kept me company in the garden on Saturday and Sunday
- Being able to run a little further than last week
- Feeling like I’m getting better at yoga, slowly but surely
- Reaching out to, and have friends reach out to me who I’ve not spoken to for ages and I can’t remember why because it feels great
- My team. They were there for me when I had an absolute mental breakdown about life on Friday
- My slippers. Makes me feel dressed for the day
- Some positive news about the rates in Italy and Spain
- Vampire diaries for being a good distraction
- Tea
- My wrist support
- Leggings. Oh, how we’ve fallen back in love.
- Small pockets of time when I’m very productive, hopefully making up for when I just can’t concentrate
- The warmer weather on Saturday - I sat outside for a couple of hours, and then again on Sunday where I went into full-on sunbathing mode. Don't worry, I used SPF.
- Both of my parents should be working from home from Monday. My mum already has been but Dad not so far.
- Did I already mention tea?
- My tidy bedroom. For once in my life, I’m managing to keep it tidy and I couldn’t have imagined a better time for this to happen.
- Knowing when my mind and body needs a break
- Sticking to a half-decent sleep routine during the week
- LinkedIn Live Streams
- Discovering that my WiFi reaches at least halfway down my garden. Might see if it reaches the shed.
- Hearing some good news from my family after they’d been through a super tough time.
- How supportive many people are being through social media.
- The week went very fast, I hope this pace continues through the lockdown.
- Now the clocks have changed, if it’s a sunny day my desk (read dining table) is absolutely bathed in sunshine from about 3 o’clock and it’s wonderful.
- Bon appetit videos still keeping me going
- I filmed a video for work and it was actually fine and did pretty well and I could actually watch it back without cringing the entire time.
- I've discovered a style of summer dress I really like so might buy a few more as that makes me happy.
The worst bits:
- Worrying about the future
- Lack of communication in some respects.
- Not being able to go to work
- Not being able to visit my boyfriend
- Not being able to visit my friends
- Seeing people on social media and the news ignoring the lockdown rules
- The worry that this is the start of a dystopian nightmare
- My inability to concentrate for long periods of time on reading a book... although this seems to be changing.
- Health anxiety
- Anxiety so bad my chest hurts
- My mystery pain from a few years back has returned full force - it means it's either anxiety-related or running related. I'm going to ignore it.
- It’s become quite apparent how impatient I am
- Seeing how many people are dying
- Knowing people who have got sick or worse from Corona.
- Still sad about my mental health and the realisation that it was in a pretty good place before this happened and now it’s not so much.
- Some people are super supportive, and some people are not and make you feel like your feelings are not valid, or that you’re a hindrance, or that you’re not worth it.
- I can’t find my sunglasses and I think this may become an issue soon.
- The immense amount of pressure I’ve put on myself this week to do lots of things. I need to stop.
- I miss my boyfriend's dog, Jazz.